Date Night... or How I Lost my Nerve

So it has been years since I have had an actual true to life Date...you know where you really think you have to ask that certain attraction out to coffee or a dinner or a movie or whatever...in person..not online ! Well if you have not had to do this in a long time the awkwardness just becomes more palpable, your palms are guaranteed to become slippery masses of flesh as they sweat, you dare not lift up your arms as you are certainly wet from stem to stern with perspiration and you are thinking you must have adopted 1 of 2 looks either the puppy locked in a car waiting for their owner to return or that look of desperation as if you had been lost in a shopping centre when you were 5, neither is an attractive look - so what to do?? Rule 1. Look and Think Calming Thoughts.

Step 2 take a drink of water and count to 5 Step 3...repeat after me.. I was hoping that you might be free this Day to go to This Placewith me - I think we have some common interests and was hoping to get to know a bit more about you without all the rushing around. The worst that can happen is they say Yesbecause that means you actually now have to set the plan in motion, some people would say the worst that could have happened is they say no...in fact that is not true, No removes all expectations and you can then move on and thank them and mumble something to the effect of "you are probably right to say that as it would just complicate what is clearly a good friendship". There are a lot of great first date spots to go to in this fantastic city of Toronto and the best part is they don't need to be expensive..especially as you try to determine if this date will translate into a real connection or not ! A cool spot to take a first date is somewhere you can hear each other speaking without everyone else listening in, so a few suggestions Fusilli Restaurant on Queen and River -

A quaint little Italian resto hidden on the south side of Queen Street and you can have a salad or just a drink in this quiet spot - or head north to yonge and eginton to a griled chees spot, just south of Eglinton on the west side - not licenced but allows your date to show they have a fun side to them, you can then head upstairs to a movie at the Yonge Eglinton centre- rarely busy and easy to catch a movie that won't be sold out. For a really inexpensive night meet at 6pm at the AGO on a Wednesday and tour the galleries for free, afterwards you can head up to Baldwin Street for 1 of the many spots to grab a bite my personal favorite is Mangiacake on McCaul always fresh food at a reasonable price and RAJ the owner is supremely friendly and very welcoming. Toronto is a series of great neighbourhoods with so many hidden gems that you can explore with a date, get a sense of what they are like away from their own turf, introduce them, and maybe even yourself to some new and interesting parts of the City, on a Thusday night date, stroll Queen West for their Gallery nights, free wine, cheese and some great emerging artists works can be viewed or even purchased, end your night with a walk up Ossington, check out a real neighbourhood chock full of evidence of gentrification, like almost no other area of the city this small strip from Dundas south to Queen is a constantly changing strip - new spots seem to open monthly! There are some great spots that have set up shop here. Best of all - just enjoy yourself - don't think of it as a date - think of yourself as an ambassador - showing off the places in Toronto that you find interesting or exciting, the mood should carry you to a great end of a first date event and..hopefully lead to more follow up dates.

Fake People, User Groups that get No Use and What's in a Name?

At some point I came to the realization that it's hard to find "REAL" people these days! What do I mean, you ask?, Real people surround us every day, or do they??

What may be true in the real world , definitely does not apply to the online world or so it would seem.

You would be hard pressed to find a virtual person who is "Real" in person.

An example of this is the online dating world, or social online interraction sites, so few people have placed an objective "slap you in the face" real description of themselves it's no wonder that the whole online dating world gets off-putting, leaving in it's wake angry and more isolated people than ever before.

I get that we all see ourselves though rose coloured glasses ,

but sometimes we need to definitely get those glasses cleaned!

I'm not usually a person who takes to griping about this sort of thing but I realize, people take huge liberties when adding anything to an online post, they are suddenly more outgoing, more serious, more fun to be around than they are in person - what you find are socially awkward extremely introverted people presenting themselves as they wish they were and not how they in fact are. I mean even so far as - WOW - what a great photo they have of themselves.. taken half a decade ago - or blurred beyond recognition - or so distant that a magnifier leaves you unsure if it is a person or a prehistoric piece of turd.

I would just like to say it only takes a single stone to start a ripple..step up, be that stone, cause a ripple,

What I mean by that is have an honest picture taken, people can judge a photo - do you look as if you are relaxed, enjoying your worls or have you been carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? Possibly declare that you don't enjoy freezing your backside off on a romantic walk along the boardwalk in January or maybe you do! Truthfully explain if you are allergic to dogs, cats, inlaws or have indeed been to prison and have lived to talk about it!

The fewer obstacles you put in the way the easier it is for someone to take that leap of faith, if you are looking just to have a friendship offer clarity and be definitive about that if you are looking to make a more permanent connection - outline your expectations you will save yourself and any potential suitor a lot of time weeding through an ocean of catfish (which are the bottom feeders of the ocean). There are Meetup groups out there and more than a million people belong to these groups, unfortunately some of these members are destined to remain single people forever - and for good reason... something that has nothing to do with looks, wealth or employment status, it has everything to do with having no social skills or a mirror - check your eyebrows, nose hairs, and facial hair if you can braid them - then trim them!

Here are some examples of images that work and ones that don't.